Clothes Cap Shunning II

On the morning news, describing detour routes around an accident:

8th street and Benning are your bestiality bats.

Bravo!

Free Books!

A week or two ago while walking to work I got this idea in my head that I really needed to read The Godfather. It started off as a review of a conversation with my uncle the night before about favorite Woody Allen movies. I said that my favorites are, Annie Hall (of course), Deconstructing Harry, and Sleeper. But what I was thinking about on the way to work was whether Annie Hall is really one of my favorites, or if I just said it was because it is my mom's favorite and generally regarded as one of Woody Allen's best. So I was thinking about that, and I remembered this line about every man having three great women in his life. I was mulling over the three great women thing, when I remembered Dan Fischer saying that line to me and that Dan Fischer wouldn't have been quoting Annie Hall, no, he was quoting The Godfather. He loved The Godfather, and like so many Jewish men between the ages of 13-25 had a considerable obsession with the mafia, like the mafia is some kind of tougher, cooler alter ego of the minyin or bar mitzvah class. Anyway, I remember when he read it, and I know that he saw the movie enough times to be able to recite large chunks of it (right, like so many other guys I know, and I've admitted to none of them that I've never seen more that fifteen minute chunks of The Godfather. I mean, I've seen enough to get the jokes, but I've never actually watched it all the way through. Shhhhh.) I also had this vague memory of him telling me about reading it at his dad's house, and something about that making me warm and fuzzy, but I think I had that confused with Scott telling me about picking up a copy of it at his parents' house when he was travelling with Cura all the time. It's weird that I would morph the memory of the reading habits of some one I dated when I was 16 with the man with whom I share a home, cats, and a dog. That is a part of my psyche I don't need to know anymore about.

But the larger point here is that we have no money, and I kept making plans to see if I could find a copy in a used book store somewhere, but haven't quite gotten around to making it to any used book stores. I even drove into the parking lot of a used book store the other day, but it was after a fairly long spate of running errands and I was tired, so I drove away even before checking the hours of the store. I even checked used book places online, but that still involved a few bucks just in shipping. I thought about people I know who might have a copy. Maybe Scott's parents still have the copy he was reading.

Where, oh where, could I find a book that I could read for free?

I am not sure why it is -perhaps decades of consumer brainwashing- that the concept of a library as a place to go for something enjpyable to read was so far deeply burried in my subconscious that it took me over two weeks to come up with it as a solution to my I-want-to-read-this-but-have-no-money-problem.

I got to the Kensington Park Library about twenty minutes before closing, filled out the application for a library card, and perused the stacks. The Godfather was out. But there were all these other books around. Lots of them, many of which I would like to read. Shocking! Books I actually WANT to read, and all I have to do is take them and bring them back and I can read them! Without paying! Wowee! I felt kind of giddy, and stupid for spending so much fucking money on books over the past fifteen years. I mean, I was probably six years old the last time I took a book out of a puiblic library sheerly for the pleasure of reading, and not for research.

A nice librarian lady came over a reminded me that new cards are processed only up until fifteen minutes before closing so I'd better hurry. I went to the circulation desk to get my card, fully expecting a piece of oaktag with my name typed into it. Not the case. Libraries have come a long way since 1989. My new Montgomery County Library System Card has a bar code on it and holograms and a key chain tag and everything! Shocking!

I went back to the fiction section. It's been a while since I read any fiction, so I picked up some of Cheever's short stories, and Rabbit, Run by John Updike, and though, "Ok, John, tell me something I don't know about the world."

I left smiling. Most of the people in the library were happy to be there, other than the occasional grumpy teenager or toddler-laden Mommy.

Now that I think of it, it's sort of embarrassing, culturally, that all of this came about because I had The Godfather confused with Annie Hall.

Psychiatrist's Appointment Book, August 6, 2035

8:00 am - Aidan M.
9:00 am - Aidan P.
10:00 am - Madison B.
11:00 am - Aidan W.
12 noon - Lunch
1:00 pm - Madyson V.
2:00 pm - Madisyn J.
3:00 pm - Aidan S.
4:00 pm - Aidan and Madysyn C.
5:00 pm - racquetball w/ Aidan

Say What?

You know what's weird? When some one asks me a question with an accent, and I unintentionally answer them with the same accent, even though I obviously don't have that accent at all.

Tonight I was at MOM's, and the bagger asked me if I wanted paper or plahstic. And I said I wanted plahstic.

I think he was from Africa. I am not from Africa. Plahstic? What the hell is that about? I hope he didn't think I was making fun of him.