A Conversation at the Register

Today I was in DSW, and when I got to the counter the cashier said, "Did you find everything alright?"

Now, if I hadn't, how would I know?

Aurora Bore-e-alis

Tonight, on the way back from a sneak peek at the new house, Scott and I passed by the Aurora Bearing Co.

I think that would be one of the most boring places on earth to work.

Easter, Shmeaster

Easter is sort of perverse. It's a good thing that Jesus was ressurrected and went right on to heaven, because if he had instead risen as, say, a zombie, and roamed the earth, Christianity would be very different from what we know today. A Zombie Jesus just would not do.

Today I went to my first Methodist service, which was interesting. It was not nearly as depressing as Mass. But it was still depressing. The sermon was about inclusivity, but I felt pretty profoundly excluded. Apparently at this time of rebirth of the spirit we are to wrap our arms around the world with love, unless you happen to accept the life and teachings of Jesus only as a as metaphor, in which case you can go to hell. It seems to me that the teachings of Chirst and the teachings of Christianity are at odds with each other. Jesus taught that the world can be healed with love, and Christianity teaches that the world can be healed only if everybody does it OUR way, and everyone else can go to hell. But we still love you, of course, even though we think you deserve to suffer eternal torture and torment because you don't agree with us.

What stands in the way of Christianty is Christians.

What if "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life," was really "I am A way, A truth, and A life."? How different would things be then? I sat there in the church thinking about Jesus, and thinking that if everyone in that church and in churches all over the world were really living the teachings that they claim to have accepted into their hearts, the world would not be the oft crappy place we know it to be. Instead, what I saw in that church was Jesus worship. Not engagement of the spirit of Jesus' ideas, but worship of the guy who HAD the ideas. That's really fucked up. When a man is worshipped there can be rules. Some one, somewhere can decide that you are doing it wrong. (Guess that's why Christianity has been such a powerful political force over the millenia.) But when a man's life is viewed as a lesson, there are no rules. Everyone will have their own interpretation and take their own inspriation from it.

But what the hell do I know?

A Watermelon Through a Garden Hose

Here's a problem.

Why on earth did some one decide that it was a good idea for human women to give birth lying on their backs? This doesn't make any sense to me. Most other animals give birth standing, propped up on their sides, crouched, or pretty much in any position other than flat on their backs grabbing their ankles. This makes a lot more sense, considering where the muscles are and considering that when trying to get a relatively big thing through a relatively small opening, it is nice to have gravity on your side.

Now that I've realized this, watching TLC in the afternoons is extremely difficult. It's one of those things. Once you realize how stupid it is, it is almost impossible to watch without feeling uncomfortable. Same reason I haven't been able to watch ice skating in ten years.

Duck!

One day I'd like to have a duck for a pet, because it turns out that it is nearly impossible to be angry when a duck is quacking at you.