Animal Madness!

In the past 24 hours, Phyllis ate a banana, a glove, and a potato. Stan got out at 4:30 this morning, resulting in Scott running outside in his underpants, mad as hell, all the way around the outside of the house and onto our neighbors' porch before Stan surrendered.

Tackitude

All-out hard core Christmas decorations have been up in our development since last week. Stupid midwest.

That Loud Popping Noise

I think it was Saturday or Sunday night that I was laying in bed, in that sort of half sleeping half waking foggy dream place. I was having a dream thought about a plastic bag. A loud popping noise woke me. I sat up and tried to figure out whether the noise came from my sort of dream, somewhere in the house, or if it had actually happened inside my head. It occurred to me that it could have been the sound of a vessel bursting in my brain, and that once I closed my eyes and drifted back into sleep I might never wake up again. "This could be it," I thought. "What if I never wake up? What if this is it? That would suck! What haven't I done?" I tried to think of everything else that the popping noise could have been, other than my imminent demise. But it wasn't looking good. So I went back to thinking about everything I never got to do. And...

I couldn't think of anything. Nothing. Not one damn thing. Now, either I've had a much more exciting life than I thought, or I've been living with really damn low expectations all these years. And I fell asleep.

The experience, of course, stuck with me into the next day. With a clearer and non-hemmorhaging head, I thought about it some more.

I still couldn't come up with anything. Lame.