Put Up or Shut Up

This whole thing has been making me nervous, this impending move to DC.

At first it was just the money. Even on Scott's current salary there was just no way that we could afford to live the way we do now in the area, much less with the pay cut he's taking. But there's more to it than that; even after I started thinking of ways that we could use the situation to our advantage financially (renting for a while and growing the proceeds from the house, for example) there was this fear sitting right on top of my excitement about moving back to the best place I've ever lived. The Fear:

1. It's put up or shut time. For a long time we've been talking about what is really important in our lives, and it isn't money or status anymore. What is important is living in an area we love, near the people we love, sustaining ourselves with good, healthful food, participating only minimally in consumer culture (living below our means), and funding it all in way that doesn't take over our lives or eat our souls. In other words, real honest-to-God capital I Integrity. To say that is one thing, but to be faced with the prospect of going from a 2500 square foot house to a 900 square foot apartment and $600 less a month in a ridiculously expensive area -and to be happy about it- is quite a daunting task!

2. D.C. might get nuked. But, as Scott pointed out, if DC gets nuked, Philly and New York are going right along with it, so we're all going together.

This is a lot to take in. This is so much more than just a job change and move. I've reached a point at which I am starting to live in a way in which I always kind of had a hunch that I could live, as soon as I paid off my credit cards or inherited a pile of cash, or whatever reasons I had. But as Mom-Mom used to say, "If money can fix it, it isn't a problem." The problem was never money, the problem was my reluctance to let go of my ideas about what would make me successful or interesting, etc.

So, I'm making the decision now: however things work out, I am going to be happy about it.